i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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