Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
