I understand Curling. That high.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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