He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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