This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
