So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
