dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
