She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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