Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
