The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize