Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
