well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Enjoy the penises
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
