Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
