I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize