Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
