Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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