I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
A bitchslap is in order.
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