Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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