Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
