Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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