Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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