did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
