he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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