you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
