i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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