Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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