I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
