I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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