My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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