is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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