hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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