Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
