I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
