did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have feelings that need drinking.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
