My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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