I wish i was in the wii world.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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