Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
