the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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