If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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