Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
