And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
