dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
