before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
