So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
