Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
