sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
