Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
