hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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