Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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