I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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