We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize