My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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