Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
