I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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