whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize