shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
