Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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