Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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