Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
