"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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