I hate your face
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
