You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
