Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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