So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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