I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
