addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
