I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
