Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
