so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You took a bar mat shot.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
